tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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