eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize