I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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