My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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