I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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