pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize