so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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