Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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