I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
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