When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize