remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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