Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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