I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize