so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
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she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
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Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize