That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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