The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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