doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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