it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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