Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize