If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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