Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
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2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
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Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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