Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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