Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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