Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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