It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize