I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
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She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
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I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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