Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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