I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
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just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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