I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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