How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
do nipples grow back?
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