Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
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