People in love make me want to vomit
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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