I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize