Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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