when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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