she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
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A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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