You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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