The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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