I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
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I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
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Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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