Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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