i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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