I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Mom said you looked used
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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