Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize