When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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