break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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