why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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