I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize