im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize