I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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