so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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